I Like a Boy in a Schoolgirl Uniform
by Kei Lawliet
Summary: The title pretty much sums it up. If you're prone to mental images or nosebleeds, be warned. FujiEiji


Kei: Hello! I'm back!

Fuji: Umm, Kei? I just read your fanfic.

Kei: What did you think?

Fuji: Well, it was... interesting...

Eiji: OH GOD! MY EYES!

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Prince of Tennis. If I did there would be a FujiRyoEiji love triangle, but there isn't. Damn.

Cookies to anyone who can figure out what "Eijiki" means before the end of the fanfic! (waves cookie)

* * *

"….E-Eiji, you're _sure _you want to do this?" 

"Oishiiii, a dare is a dare. And if I back down now, Fujiko and Momo-chan are going to have bragging rights!"

"Fine, fine. Just do me a favor…"

"Eh? What?"

"…Don't bend over like that."

"Ah haha. Mengo-mengo….."

**

* * *

**

Tezuka Kunimitsu was walking to school when a sudden chill ran up his spine. His eye twitched. "…Something strange is going to happen today…."

"Ah, Tezuka," a soft voice rang behind him. Turning, he saw Fuji Syusuke coming over to join him. "Fuji," Tezuka said, nodding in reply. Something seemed strange about the tennis tensai this morning. He wore the same smile as he did every morning, but it seemed more, there wasn't any other way to put it, sadistic. His eyes were also slightly open, the piercing blue peering at Tezuka through cat-like slits. Tezuka suppressed another shiver.

"I was supposed to meet Eiji on the way here, but I haven't seen him," Fuji mused, "Have you?" Tezuka shook his head. "No," he replied, "and I haven't seen Oishi either. He usually walks this way…"

"Saa, that certainly is strange," Fuji remarked, closing his eyes with a smile. "I wonder what they're doing…"

* * *

Momo, Echizen, Inui, and Kawamura were already in the changing rooms, as they had an extra practice that morning. Kaido was out running to kill some time while they waited for everyone to arrive. 

"Oi, Fuji-senpai," Momo greeted, grinning. "Where's Eiji-senpai? I thought he was supposed to be walking with you. Me and Echizen were counting on it," he said, giving Fuji a knowing glance. Ryoma turned his head away from the senpais. "I don't want anything to do with it…" he muttered. Kaido walked in through the door, finished with his morning run. "Urusai, baka," he hissed, "I can hear you from outside." "Eh? Why don't you shut up, baka mamushi?!" "Nani?" Kaido fired up, grabbing the collar of Momo's shirt. Momo grabbed Kaido's collar in reply. "You heard what I said, teme!"

Tezuka sighed at the sight of the rivals fighting again, Kawamura trying to calm them both down, and Ryoma moving slowly away from the group. He needed a Tylenol, and fast. Turning towards Inui, he tried to take his mind off of the squabbling. "Inui," he asked, "what do you think Momo was asking Fuji about when they came in? Something about Eiji walking to school…?"

Inui pulled out his notebook and pen, jotting down notes about kami knows what. "Hnn, with this data, I can conclude…" He snapped his notebook shut and looked up (or down, 'cause he's taller) at Tezuka.

"There is a 98.76 percent chance that whatever it is involved or involved Momo, Echizen, Fuji, and Eiji. There is also a 56 percent chance that Oishi is involved in that same thing, or was pulled into it at some point, because he is not here right now. This thing was either supposed to happen on the way here, or at school right now. Whatever it is was obviously not prepared in time, and that is why Oishi and Eiji are not here."

Tezuka glanced over at Fuji, who was staring at the door to the changing rooms with his sadistic smile in place and open eyes. He turned back to Inui. "How likely is it that it will be something extremely scarring?"

Inui looked over at Fuji, wrote something else in his notebook, and cleared his throat. "100 percent."

Tezuka rolled his eyes and groaned.

It suddenly got incredibly quiet. Momo and Kaido had stopped fighting, and looked as though they were concentrating on something. When buchou opened his mouth to reprimand them, though, Fuji put his finger to his lips.

"They're coming."

And then Tezuka heard what Momo and Kaido had already picked up on. Two voices, growing louder and louder as they came close, were coming from outside.

"Please, Eiji! We can still turn back now and forget the entire thing!"

"No way, Oishi! If I do, I'll never live it down!"

"Eiji, you'll never live _this _down! Fuji will remind you the rest of your life!"

This earned Fuji a glare from buchou. The voices were loud now, right outside the door.

"Oishi, I have to do this and that's _that_!"

The door suddenly burst open, and what the rest of the team saw would scar them for the rest of their natural lives.

Standing in the doorway was Kikumaru Eiji, clad in a schoolgirl sailor suit. A _hot pink_ sailor suit, from the bow in his hair to the compromisingly short skirt (we must all remember, it was Fuji Syusuke, sadist extraordinaire, who picked it out). The top was cut so you could see part of Eiji's stomach. Eiji stood there, dressed in what was obviously the most non-school-appropriate schoolgirl outfit in history, and smiled. "What's up everybody?"

The reaction was colossal.

Tezuka and Kaido both got major nosebleeds and fainted on the spot. Kawamura shouted "BUUUUURRNNNIIIIIING!" and started running around in circles with his eyes closed. He tripped over Tezuka's fallen body, smacked his head on a cubby hole, and flopped over onto the floor. Inui died, came to life again and scribbled something in his notebook, and promptly died again. Momo was laughing so hard he was hyperventilating. Fuji waved back, the grin on his face wider than it had ever been. And let it be known, that for the first time in history, Echizen Ryoma was speechless.

* * *

"It certainly took a while to calm them all down, didn't it?" Fuji remarked, grinning at Eiji. "This is all your fault, Fuji," Eiji pouted, "I told you we shouldn't have played poker. I'm no good at it!" Momo looked up from the floor where he was cleaning up the remnants of the nosebleeds. "That really was fun though. We should play poker again, shouldn't we Ryoma?" Ryoma just sat in the corner, his eyes wide. Momo sighed. "Ah, whatever. I'll go get him to the nurse with the rest of the team. It's a good thing Oishi was here, otherwise I'd have to carry everyone. Ja ne." He walked over to Echizen, picked him up fireman style, and walked out the door. Ryoma was so traumatized he didn't even protest. 

Fuji walked over to Kikumaru, who was facing the window watching Momo carry away Ryoma. He wrapped his arms around the red-head's waist and rested his chin on his shoulder. "Saa, that was interesting, wasn't it?"

Eiji jumped. "Nya, Fujiko!" He turned his head slightly so he could see Fuji's eyes, opened in interest.

"Saa, you don't have to jump like that, Eijiki, we're alone now."

"Yeah, but still..." Eiji blushed. "I get so embarrassed when you hug me in public! And stop calling me Eijiki!"

"But everyone already knows we're together now. I'm not allowed to hug my boyfriend?" Fuji pouted.

"…Okay, nya…"

"That's better. Oh, and did I tell you that you look very nice today?" Fuji asked, kissing the younger boy's cheek and making him blush.

"Thanks, I think. But I'm not ever doing this again, Fujiko!"

Fuji sighed. "Fine, fine. But can you do something for me today, Eiji?"

"Yeah?"

"When everyone gets back, if practice is still on, will you and Oishi work on your Australian Formation?"

* * *

Translations (chronological order): 

-chan: A term of respect for someone younger. Usually used on a girl, but Momo is strange that way.

Mengo-mengo: The way Eiji says sorry. I think. I heard it in the episodes somewhere, I'm just not sure if I spelled it right.

Saa: Fuji says this a lot. I don't really think it has a meaning.

-senpai: A term of respect for an upperclassman.

Urusai: You're too loud.

Baka: Stupid

Mamushi: Viper

Nani?: What?

Teme: Bastard

Ja ne: Well then. (Generally used when one is leaving, informal)

Nya!: Eiji makes this sound a lot. It's the sound a cat makes.

And finally... plays dramatic music Eijiki: Victim

Well? Did you get it right? My friend made this nickname up for Eiji while paging through a Japanese/English dictionary (lol). Here's a cookie even if you didn't get it right. (gives cookie)

Please R&R! Be careful, I've got my fire extinguisher at the ready.


End file.
